In my quest to make the world a better place for you me and whatever progeny i may proffer i usually come across some articles that i find to be completely daft and written just for the sake of having some isht on your website. One of those entitled
“Kenyan ladies will be alone for life due to media exposure”
is one such article.
As in I know Ciku Muiruri already called Kenyan men broke ugly and undeserving (OHEMGEE she’s single i wonder why?) so maybe some guy out there decided he’d better go out and write an article and defend our right to nice proper african wives. I’ll pick out some stuff that bothered me and maybe you could go to the article yourself and draw your own conclusions as well.
Apparently this craze that women have about fashion and make up chases away men. Yupp even if a woman is buying herself new clothes and gadgets with HER OWN MONEY men will see this as a sign that she is too frivolous and expensive…either that or men will think that a single lady cannot possibly afford such a lifestyle and thus has to be getting money from elsewhere (see Kenyan socialites ;)):
All women should close their social media accounts because men might think you’re a whore with too many men all over the place because you have 3000 Facebook friends (slut) 400 whatsapp contacts (harlot) 800 followers on twitter (prostitute) and even some one…instagram! Eish all those people in your life well definitely men will think that all these virtual relationships correspond to physical actions. Wait what? Even presidents and ceo’s have social media accounts? Are they whores too? Or are they just too famous to be considered of loose moral standing.
(This one i found hilarious) Women in groups scare off potential husbands so you need to start hanging out alone for a change. It’s just like were hunting prey separate from the pack and attack 🙂 its not that id walk into a restaurant or be walking in Uhuru park and approach that one woman i see walking alone and go “hi my name is Adam and id like to know you better.” shtap! This isn’t a Bollywood film and it sure as f**k isnt hollywood. I tend to think we meet most of our future spouses at social events/gatherings, not wandering alone ripe for the picking.
If you cook, have sex with and clean for your boyfriend he wont marry you because aaaaparrently once we get married ill get less of these things what with you being an independent woman you’ll expect me to help with the housework. So what you’d rather do is not do these things until you marry him, then…do them all. Alone. Man’s place is to provide and yours is to SCRUB THEM DAMN DISHES! Yupp this reasoning is not backwards whatsoever.
Oh and that saying what a man can do a woman can do better is quoted as being a lie from the devil. I concur on that because I don’t think any one side of our species is better than the other. I mean we all end up dead anyway, or do men die better? I think sometimes us guys have to get off our “im an African and we have african values” high horse once in a while and realize that Africa has changed, the world has changed and if we dont change with it or keep imposing silly conditions and restrictions on women we’ll end up with wives as bitter as Ciku Muiruri (am i spelling that right btw?). Enough with this conformist crap of you’re looking for a wife who does “this and this”, what you’re too daft to think for yourself? Does the internet have to tell you what to look for in a lifelong partner? I personally couldn’t give two sh*ts from sunday if my wife can’t cook, wash clothes or sweep the floor. As long as she’s beautiful, intelligent, funny, reads a lot and can hold a conversation that doesn end with me wondering how anyone could be so dumb I’m good. I’m tired of the lack of imagination out there, let her go out and buy ridiculous looking shoes and a phone that tells her her period is late, that’s her problem its her money. The women you’re looking for; if you think this article is right, are currently upcountry (shags) on the shamba doing that hard work you so wonderfully praise. Go there and look for them and stop bothering the cosmopolitan woman with your demands for slavery . Eish, this is as bad as telling gay people they’ll burn in hell because it’s not African, bah. Hell is a Western concept you dolts.

(again i apologise for the typos but blogging via qwerty keypad is tiresome.)

How come i can sometimes not have network in the house but a terrorist somewhere in Afghanistan can upload videos to the internet?

Why do Kenyan soldiers carry sandpaper in their pockets when posted to Somalia? Because they need a map :p

TTYL ladies and germs

IM A DAD! jk Anyway i trash African values in this post. Read it


5 responses »

  1. I still want to copy-paste everything on this piece to the “kenyan ladies will be alone for life due to media exposure” article’s comment box.

  2. Reading this made me feel a lot better.
    Some people are just absolute scrotums.

    b-t-dubs, I read a lot.

    …just putting it out there. :p

    • but that would still be beside the point, using old values to choose someone will be stuck with for life is an archaic method of courtship. hornty goat weed? you sure its not Mathias typing bruh 😛

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