So recently a very good friend of mine (see Karanja Nzisa) brought to my attention one of the best websites to hit the kenyan blogosphere. Its name is Uhondo 254 and now i can finally say that I have a reliable source for my news (see mucene/udaku/gossip/tripe.)
once you open the page you can clearly see this is a proffesionally run sight and you cant even doubt their sources (hosted by wordpress for 35 usd a year, logo done using wordart function on MS word with a little sumn extra from paint). These people are friggin pros!
Then the stories! Oh Em Gee! Llz cat tek my sol tew intrnts heven! Ill just sample a few from today and you’ll see what i mean.
“Photo of the day: Rihanna urinating in public.” see they even have photo evidence of rihanna (the real one from ‘merica not the kamadhe from the salon) peeing in public. What the head looks photoshopped on? Bah what do you know, uhondo 254 obviously has someone in the states who has access to rihanna’s peeing photos! They would never deceive us!
“sauti sol being gay” yupp we all knew they were gay come on. It was so obvious! The tight pants, the all boy boy band (what?) the romantic songs sang to women (what?) and their girlfriends (what?) these guys are so fruity one should have them after meals, good for digestion (ok that one was lame…) and yes we know that everything gay people start has to succeed, thats why they rule holywood, nollywood, bollywood and the nairobi stock exchange (lets face it Chris Kirubi is as much a poof as chimano)
“Dr MITCH AND LILLIAN MULI getting cosy are they dating” the pictures in this article are proof that if these two arent dating there’s still a lil sumn sumn going on between them. I mean look at the one where they’re evidently on a romantic lunch date (just ignore the four/five other people at the table, total posers tryna look famous). Also…who is Dr Mitch? Google only gives me a bunch of corn fed (very scary large looking) dagetaris from ‘merica. Feel free to email firstname.lastname@example.org or facebook me if you know 🙂
“Diamond a sex pest and impregnated his blood sister Penny” you see in this one they knew the pregnancy was in the headline so they never bothere to touch it in the article, being professionals they knew not to waste your time. They also trace all the way back (using geneaological databases available all over africa of course) how Diamond and his girlfriend are related. Their grandmothers shared a mother meaning that him and Penny are blood sisters (what?) at least now Diamond knows and they can take steps to prevent a deformed baby? Oh Uhondo 254 thou art so benevolent.
Oh and this gem was from last week i guess
“Lucy Kibaki has been dead for 8 months” i havent read it yet but im sure that particular article will be filled with even more facts and irrefutable evidence than Uncle Chim over at Ghafla can shove on his website in a year. So everyone go over to Uhondo 254 for truth and startling news that comes with pictures and multiple typos (even more than here i swear) and all you get there will be the truth! For real yo, the internets has no lies. Just ask wikipedia :p
oh before i forget i saw these tweete from @MabeISimmons
Bitches be twerking for every single damn thing
“oh damn girl! the school bus here BUSS IT! BUSS IT”
Bitch be like: im pregnant
Nigga be like: ill help you find the daddy