Some things you WILL regret about college.

Standard

Giving that person your number:-

A person being in the same orientation group as you, remembering your name, and seeming “nice enough” might seem like good enough reasons to give them your phone number, but by the time you’ve realized the error of your ways, your phone will be so inundated with “sup?”s, “u kulads?”s, and 50 page texts about how much Kibao they pretended to drink last night or think they did. Kumbe you just know the guy had blacked out alone…at 7, watching vampire diaries (gay gay gay gay show btw)! Aaaaaaand there’s also that girl, the one who you thought was pretty, interesting and fun. Unfortunately after enough off campus parties you realize she’s the dodge and probably has herpesgonorheAIDS or some similar disease. Cause that b%&^#h is looser than the story line of a Kenyan tv show (oh yeah I went there you guy write shit scripts live with it.)

Taking that picture:-

If your like me and you have your entire family on your profile random drunk plans with digicams are always hell once they hit the interweb.  Especially after your buddy’s comments of

“Whoa bro epic night”

“you guy you were so f*&^king”

“Where did you get sooo much weed guy!!”

You get Auntie Nani’s comments of “Why would a grown man do this you need to be an adult nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada nada yada you could have been the president, is this the behavior fit of a president, hmmm young man??”

It’s sad that your friends seeing you passed out drunk with a carrot in your mouth is less embarrassing than them knowing that you could have been president, lol.

Falling in love:-

I’ve seen you guys in school, gone to parties with you and endured long boring phone conversations and facebook updates. Love will make you do crazy things and by crazy I mean annoying and by annoying I mean REALLY FUHKING annoying! Trust everyone’s roommate hates their other roommates girlfriend or at least dislikes her immensely. Especially if said roommate is single. Trust heartbreak is bad but even worse is having to eat in the dining hall alone because you were dumped and you’re roommate is just tired of you moping about because you’re so sad

You know it's true

Not backing up your PC:-

Losing your half-finished term paper, entire iTunes Library, and high score on Halo to a particularly hard to grasp  bottle of milk pilfered from the cafetiria is bad. Losing that all because, despite ordering one six months ago, you still had not gotten around to backing up all of your files on an external hard drive is the absolute worst—at least as far as first-world problems go. Which, thanks to your clumsy hands, you’ll have to finish reading about on your smart phone, or tablet, or roommate’s laptop. The computer labs..never an option . no one has the time to struggle with terrible net speeds.

Learning the guitar:-

It’s well documented that playing the guitar will do wonders for your social life. If you can strum the right notes, pluck the right strings, all of the girls will want you and all of the guys will want to be you. Learning how to play the guitar, however, will have a far less advantageous effect. All of the guys will want to beat you, and all of the girls will want you to move away from where they’re catching rays out on the quad. Practice may make perfect, but it also makes roommates “forget” your pillowcase isn’t a wastebasket. Don’t be that guy, for you will be smacked by me when I see you. Such a DOUCHE!!

such...a...douche

Going for that party instead of studying:-

It’s still up for debate whether or not you could actually call it a party, but whatever it was really threw a 200ksh all-you-can-drink-as-long-as-it’s-only-two-shots-of-kibao wrench into your scholarly schedule. It would have been one thing if you ended up sucking face with Jessica Njoki, but the fact that she stayed in to study with the guy you sit next to in class was a total slap in the face.. especially since he’s the cunt with the guitar!

Studying instead of going for that party:-

Oh come on you know on this blog this had to be here! Studying instead of the soiree is never a good idea. They don’t make movies about people taking tests in college. Well, they might, but they probably don’t do that well in the box office. It would have been one thing if you ended up doing well on the exam, but the fact that you got the same grade as a guy who not only went to the party, but hooked up with Jessica Njoki, was a total slap in the face. AND HE STILL HAS THAT GUITAR (fact: Adam Kiboi hates guitars)

I’m too tired to finish the list so pffft just live with these for now, maybe I’ll update this later. Besides I want to talk about something random but I can’t even think of anything to add!!  I’m off my addiction to Disney divas and I’m still single and searching but there are a few candidates. Yes you know yourself, you probably got the first link to this post, aaaand with good reason. TTYL world sorry my sign off wasn as interesting as I’d love it to be, or you would…oooooor just f&*^k it. Oh and do the pretty cool flow chart below, you need to know this lol

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