Despite how illogical it sounds i am not immortal. Before i’m sent off into the big party in the sky there’s some stuff i’d love to do, thought it’d be cruel not to let you (the world) know what your future supreme leader want to achieve before death, it’s only fair. So here it is, the Adam Kiboi bucket list. No laughing
1. Be interviewed for news and once on camera say “GENETELIA!!!”
2. Go skydiving somewhere in kenya.
3. Go to the maasai mara and actually see an elephant. (yes an african who’s never been to a game park)
4. Have a sex tape made with a super hot girl. Leak it to the web and then pretend i had nothing to do with it.
5. Be in an advertisement, preferably for condoms
6. Learn to drive
7. Write a book about me
8. Star in a movie about me.
9. Have a session in bed with someone famous… Preferably size 8, she’s just so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute
10. Make up with Bunji or chantal and win her back.(yes i do have a heart ironically this comes between murder and casual sex…I need to rethink my priorities)
11. Kill a gospel singer.
12. Become president so i can invade somalia. They probably have oil somewhere there, i’ll find it. Just have to eject the locals.
13. Attempt flight after ingesting LSD.
14. Find the creepy swedish chap from naivasha who sold me shrooms and tell him i love him.
15. Go back to thailand and find the bar where they open the beers with their vaginas. Very shocking when i was 14 but now i just see potential hi hi hi
16. Learn to speak german so i have an angry sounding vocabulary in my repetoir.(spelling?)
17. Have sex ontop of a building, at night with a full moon out.
18. Shoot a hooker and bury her in the yard.
19. Feed a kitten to a snake.
20. Quit smoking 🙂
21. Go to a live wrestling event and get the ultimate hi5 from John Cena.
22. Go to canada, find angel and hug her.
23. Have a son so i can call him Adam, then people’ll be calling him Adam Kiboi the second. And i’ll be adam kiboi senior. I know i know very cool and fancy sounding eh.
24. Actually found the church of chrinsanity and title myself as demi-god with knowledge as the supreme deity.
25. Have my wedding on a beach somewhere and have someone famous sing at the wedding.
26. Learn to dance.
27. Buy a super awesome huge house with a pool so i can throw house parties with naked women 🙂
Well that’s the abridged version. The rest of it’s too nasty even for this blog. Loads of who i’d like a blowjob froms and it’s a very specific list and a few of those people actually read my blog. Wouldn want to break it to them through the internet. Not very gentleman like. And we all know i’m a gentleman ;). Anyway TTYL world i’m off to work on my list and email more pictures of my head on some muscular man’s body to miley cyrus.Maybe this time she’ll reply and help my unhealthy obsession with her.
p.s ->how COOL is wrestling? Men in tights beating each other up and they even put in some acting! I want to be a wrestler.
p.p.s ->have i put up a bucket list before? I forget, must be all the drugs i’ve been doing over the years. No this doesn count as a confession.
p.p.p.s -> how cool are mini skirts? Easy access to the lady parts and they look appealing. Functional and beautiful.
p.p.p.p.s->wouldn it be book to have a pet snake? Or a parrot? No girl can resist sex with a guy with a pet as cool as that. Like “adam what’s that?”
“oh that? It’s just my parrot”
“Have sex with me you super cool person”
oh yeah that’s totally how that would turn out.
p.p.p.p.p.s-> have you seen boa vs python? There’s this scene where this guy’s giving his girlfriend head in the car but the snake pulls him out and swallows him whole them proceeds to give his girlfriend head. Totally weird stuff but ultra cool.
p.p.p.p.p.p.s ->like every single girl i ever cared about suddenly showed up this week. My mind is in turmoil. What AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? So not cool 😦 but how bout that snake thing eh?
ok TTYL for real reals this time. No more ramblings from this particular horny, heart-broken, anarchist blogger.