Embarrassing moments :)

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A Melbourne radio station
conducted a phone-in competition
to find the most embarrassing
public moment in a listener ’s life.
Here are the final four…
4th Place
While in line at the bank one
afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy &
started to run amuck. I was finally
able to grab hold of her after
receiving looks of disgust &
annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she didn ’t start
behaving herself, right now, she
would be punished. To my horror,
she looked me in the eye & said in a
voice just as threatening, ‘If you
don ’t let me go right now, I will tell
Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy’s
Willie last night.’ After this
enlightening exchange, the silence
was deafening. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing. I
mustered the last of my dignity &
walked out of the bank, with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I
heard as the door closed behind me
were screams of laughter.
3rd Place
It was the day before my 18th
birthday. I was living at home, but
my parents had gone out for the
evening, so I invited my girlfriend
over for a romantic night alone. As
we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ringing
downstairs. I suggested to my
girlfriend that I give her a piggyback
ride down to the phone. Since we
didn ’t want to miss the call, we
didn’t make time to get dressed.
When we got to the bottom of the
stairs, the lights suddenly came on
as a whole crowd of people yelled
‘SURPRISE’. My entire family
parents, grand parents, aunts,
uncles, cousins as well as my
friends, were standing there. My
girlfriend & I were frozen on the
spot in a state of shocked
embarrassment for what seemed
like an eternity. Since then, no one in
my family has planned any surprise
parties.
2nd Place
A lady picked up several items at a
discount store. When she finally Got
up to the checkout, she learned that
one of the items had no price tag.
The checkout girl got on the public
address system, which boomed out
across the store for everyone to
hear, ‘Price check for Tampax
supersize.’
But it got worse. Someone at the
rear of the store apparently
misunderstood word ‘Tampax’ for
‘Thumbtacks’ & replied in a business
like tone, his voice booming back
over the same public address
system: ‘Do you want the kind you
push in with your thumb or the
kind one you knock in with a
hammer?
…& the winner is… 1st Place.
This happened at a major Australian
University, during a biology lecture.
A professor was discussing the high
glucose levels found in semen. A
young woman raised her hand &
asked, ‘If I understand you
correctly, you are saying there is as
much glucose in male semen as in
sugar?’ The professor responded,
yes, that ’s correct adding some
statistical data. Raising her hand
again, the girl asked, ‘Then why
doesn ’t it taste sweet?’ After a
stunned silence, the whole class
burst out laughing. The poor girl
turned bright red as she realised
exactly what she had inadvertently
said, she picked up her books &
without another word, walked out
of the class. However, as she was
heading for the door, the
professor ’s reply was a classic.
Totally straight faced, he answered
her question. ‘It doesn ’t taste sweet
because the taste-buds for
sweetness are on the tip of your
tongue & not in the back of your
throat’.

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