Confessions off the web

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you know those sites where people anonymously(spelling?) post up confessions? was bored in the office and i’ve just read the funniest crud ever check em out and comment

My housemate thought cunninlingus was the name of a spell from Harry Potter. -Anonymous

Last week I rejected sex from the hottest girl I’d ever met because I’d left half a pizza in my bed. -HS

I was making out with a girl not too long ago when she stopped and sucked on my nose for a second before continuing to make out with me. I don’t have a joke that goes with that, it was just really f*cking weird. -Anonymous

My girlfriend gets mad at me if I don’t ask her to do things for me because “being in a relationship means we’re suppose to help each other out.” When I ask her to do something for me, she gets mad at me because she thinks I’m using her. -HD

After much persistence I finally gave in and let my current boyfriend go anal. Afterwords he couldn’t stop talking about how he was so proud that I let him but would never let my ex. He even went as far to say that he wanted to go up to him and tell him, to try and make him jealous. What I wouldn’t tell my current boyfriend is that I only reason I wouldn’t let my ex was because his dick was about 3 times the size of his… -CM

So I’m dating this girl who lives Chicago, and during one of my visits we start talking about St. Patrick’s Day and the Boston/Chicago tradition of dyeing their respective rivers green. I mention that the tradition, although I’m not sure, may have started in Boston because the city’s older. To which she replies “No, both cities are the same age. Chicago just hadn’t been discovered yet.” She’s in a Ph.D. program. -Joe

So my first girlfriend told me that I needed to be more religious, so I get really involved in a church. About a month later, I tell her I want to break up because God was telling me we shouldn’t be together. She bought it. I never went to church again. -MB

Towards the end of 6th grade, I started to get erections pretty frequently. I had always joked with my friends about “jacking-off”, but I don’t think any of us really knew how it all worked, and I of course had never tried. The school year ended and one day I was sitting on the toilet looking at my year book and before I knew it, I was hard. I decided this was as good of a time as any to try “masturbating.- I picked a pretty girl in my class and focused only on her. Her picture was surrounded by pictures of males and I was convinced that if my eyes drifted to a dude, that would turn me gay. So after about 45 seconds of intense staring and awkward stroking, I was on the edge of ecstasy…then my mother walked in…I didn’t beat off for 2 1/2 years after that. -Ryan

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