passing out on rooftops without falling off


So day one was over and the palm tree climbing ninja from my previous post i.e lawi had passed out in the wrong hotel room…in the wrong hotel. Me and vin (whose picture i’ll put up when i’m not phoneblogging or phlogging<my word don't use it) had stolen a noah from our drunk buddy Biggie and decided to pick up chics in it. So Vin decides that a 7 seater noah can fit loads of girls. Slight miscalculation. The girls came with friends, who came with friends… Who happened to be chaps. So fourteen people in the 7 seater car not counting me and vin. And that day we started 'Adam and Vin's Taxi Service' driving around mtwapa~north coast~ from five in the morning till about seven dropping off the girl's friends at their apartment blocks and stuff. Finally we get to their apartments. So vin parks the car and we follow them upstairs. I'm carrying one bottle of tequila he's holding one. I know what your thinking… *through pass*.
The girls go up the stairs, we follow about a flight down from them but slight miscalculation…. I lost them. Each floor's got about 6 apartments on it and we never knew which room they were in. Sure we had the key but THE BLOODY THING NEVER HAD THE NUMBER.
So we keep climbing and climbing and climbing and climbing till we end up at a dead end. Dead except for the roof access stairwell which we figured might be fun to go up.
*note we're already pretty drunk from the club*
Ten minutes later me and vin are looking at the nasty ass view that mtwapa has to offer while chugging down large amounts of tequila from our respective bottles while our feet dangle off the rooftop 6 floors from the ground. Now while drinking off a rooftop you need to follow these steps so as not to fall off.
1. Don't slap your friend on the back while telling stories. (Had a few scares with that one)
2. Pass out or lie down sideways. Forward is not an option because you might be alone or your friend might not be as strong as vin.
3. If your having tequila forget the lemon and salt.. Don't ask why just leave it alone. It's not healthy.
4. You are not spiderman and no you can't fly. Hence no weed. Ok. Forget it.
5. Leaning forward to light your cig because of the wind is stupid. Don't. Infact don't smoke. It's stupid . And unhealthy.
6. Don’t shout out to your friends who’re under your feet. Even if they’re stealing their noah back. And they’re to drunk to drive. And your phones are in the car.
7. When your friends crashes the noah he just stole back into a wall don’t laugh too hysterically. You might fall.
8. If you leave your drinking buddy alone on the roof to check on the now crashed noah, be smart and move the tequila away from him incase he passes out on his side.
9. If you forgot to move the tequila away, as you walk out the building, beware falling bottles of tequila.
10. Don’t walk outside barefoot. Falling bottles of tequila = glass on floor = ‘ow WTF my foot’s cut’
11. When you finally hear the girls you came with don’t run up the stairs drunk. You’ll end up upstairs on the rooftop again.
12. When you find your friend asleep on the roof…don’t try wake him up,,. And don’t sit near him. You will pass out.
13. As you pass out hide last bottle of tequila…for future reference.
14. Set alarm for 10 am incase your going to the rally.
15. Lastly, ignore alarm.

Eventually at around 11 the guard told the girls i was on the roof. Yes alone. Vin like a retard had disappeared to help Biggie drive the ruined noah to christ knows where. Never even left a note the bastard. The girls shoved me into a car (never showed them the tequila, clever me) and we headed off for kilifi where numerous shots and beers convinced me that Ian Duncan really wants me to chase his car. But TTYL, that’s for the next bit in the series.


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