Communal housing

Standard

I’ve been to boarding school for like nearly all my life. All throughout primary school to high school but none of that compares to uni hostels. I’M DYING HERE!!!
never mind the fact that we fit so tightly in our primary school dorm that we could roll off our beds onto our neighbours, or that in high school chaps like nani would murder us with mega farts (known to cause nasal bleeding) only to wake us with creepy snoring sounds that sounded like a million rugby players doing the haka *spelling* (see newzealand), none of that compares to my first night in a strange building. In a strange room. In a strange bed. With four other empty bunks (i’m the only person with their own room…man i feel like a loser)
There’s four girls, very pretty in the broad sense of the word, hanging outside my window playing with cats. As in like right now as i type this they’re there cooing and saying “how cute it’s eyes are, but why are they blue” BECAUSE THEY’RE BLUE GODDAMN IT!! And she keeps asking this over and over and over and over and over. When she does realise noone will answer my day will be made. Or maybe i’ll throw tissue balls at them. Atleast it’ll chase the cats and they’ll leave 🙂 but from then on i’ll be “that strange guy who sleeps alone and throws tissue at people”
To make it worse the soccer stars who also happen to be freshmen, so am i btw, have decided that the corridor is a really cool place to play soccer. It’s not even big enough to play a three a side match but noooooooooooo the geniuses have somehow figured out how to do it making sure that the ball hits my door every two minutes. Clearly naps are out of the question.
Earlier at dinner i met nani, nani, nani and michelle. I apparently know all of them, how? No idea! Zip, nada, zilch. Michelle is wangai’s girlfriend so i definitely know her but the rest spent my entire meal talking about how much fun we had that night at sehjui which club. The food was horrible (greasy greasy greasy and seasoned with water) and i couldn jump into the convo because i couldn remember anything. When they finally do leave i grab a cup of coffee (no tea, no cocoa just pale watery weak coffee and sugar) and walk to my table (sitting alone on facebook btw…man i felt like a loser) when whatsherface sits next to me with her buddy and we chat and chat and i’m thinking “whodafukizthis?”THEN she tells me i don’t sound or look kenyan. And so i lied, i’m mauritanese (can’t beleive that’s in my t9 but boobs isn, damn you nokia) meaning i’m from mauritius (spelling). I said goodnight then left the hall (alone…i need to make some friends) and now i’m back in my room. Finally the cat girls are gone and the soccer stars are probably butting heads somewhere else or whatever it is they do after games (shower?). But this fruity idiot next door keeps playing his loud lame ass gospel music when clearly cool people like me are trying to go to sleep! Atleast i won’t talk to myself, facebook will keep me smiles plus cassandrae finally tweeted me back and kui might need treatment.
Ok i’m being melodramatic, i know loads of people here it’s just hard to weave through 1000 people looking for the twenty that’re your friends. But vin is a ninja forged like five signatures at the accounts offices beat that.
today i start a new era, this place will know my name from room to room, shadow to shadow, canteen to lecture hall. They will all know Adam Kiboi, because i’ll shove the name down their throats. Push it in their faces and dare them to forget -adam kiboi

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8 responses »

  1. as usual i totali luv this….hope reading your comments will drown the gospel next door
    no more breakfast!!

  2. Come now Adam…it cnt b that bad….and besides,u cud always start a journal wich iz later published even though its a wee bit clichè and goes on to make fictional sequels..*SPUD*

  3. Chap,once again,you dazzle with your literary genius. Never laughed so hard…
    Well,technically,i’ve laughed harder but i was terribly stoned on the herb,so i’m guessing that doesn’t count…
    Good works,perhaps yr destined to be among the greats,just like Arthur:-) lol.
    Breakfast,7.30.

  4. Hahaha.poor ye!!
    The cat girls :D!!’omg soo cute and blue’
    ‘omg right?’
    ‘Aww omg i know’
    ‘omg how blue’
    ‘omg right?’
    oh em fucking g!
    You will survive!repeat to self,i will survive…i will survive…i will survive

  5. admblind u make my day constantly nd ovr nd ovr again the web is ur friend lol if boredom prevails im on the othr side u knw.xx
    treatment 🙂
    nd haha to the guy playin gospel next door

  6. WATS WORSE THAN LOUD NOISY LAME GOSPEL MUSIQ…LOUD NOISY LAME KAMBA MUSIQ…thats what i was treated to on the 1st day of campo…tread in my brother. .

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