Considering my day today and the adventures i’ve had. I really can’t put it up but i’m the victim of beer goggles and the horrible driving skills of a magical beer scooter. I’m pretty sure i was in my bed this morning when i got home but a few hours later i was in karen with nani. Apparently i’ve been ‘sausage kamatwad’ (female version of chips funga.)
You know you’ve got a problem if you do the h.i.v test thing for the free glow in the dark bands. I’ve got 14, one more test and i’ll officially have started a collection yessss! (GO GET TESTED)
New book added to my collection. It’s about these junkies who live together in one huge house.
Dark secrets: character listing
Quentin: tall blonde, elegant, urbane
Andy: tall, dark, rowdy, aggressive (also a rapist, happily married to his last victim)
Giles : small, rich, anxious ( maybe because his teeth are falling out?)
keith : a short fat midget that farts all the time (why i bought the book :))
Buy the book! Or download it to your phones from wattpad (google that) dark secrets by martin amis.
I’m going to get a girlfriend. Yes, be amazed at this news and close thy hanging jaws. In about a week (i saw jaws and thought about the movie, the shark eats a naked woman) i will have a girlfriend πŸ™‚ and I WILL BE FAITHFUL. I’m spoilt for choice though. There’s the urbane girl who i talk to about the most intense things and there’s the socialite i met at the pub weeks back. I don’t know which one to pick so i think i’ll flip a coin or ask steraya to pick for me πŸ™‚ she’s good at that. I think she picked my last four girlfriends (real ones not the facebook girls ey). I just counted i think i’ve got about fifteen (yes fifteen) facebook wives. And those are just the ones i can remember. Out there maybe there’s twenty girls who’re married to adam kiboi in their minds. :O
I now know how anyone who gets me mad will be punished. I steal their girlfriends so his heart is broken then i break hers πŸ™‚ so they both weep. I know she’s innocent but her hurting will hurt him if he actually cares for her. Especially if he’s been putting up gay vibes on his update about how much he loves her and misses her. Muahahahaha fear me. Now only one problem…noone hates me 😦 and the only people i hate are stupid people, and they usually just date ugly stupid girls 😦 One day, someone will be punished.

…and so even when [the satirist] presents a vision of the future, your business is not prophecy, just as your subject is not tomorrow…it is of today menippus
8) go read a book.
Please comment ey πŸ™‚


6 responses »

  1. Sausage kamatwad!hahaha
    and wewe!!i write those updates of how i miss her . . . If you dare i will torture you slowly until you will believe in Christianity.

  2. He loves me, he loves me, he loves me, he loves me, he loves me.. I AM A SEX GODDESS!!! Have girlfriends. Have mistresses. Have fuckbuddies. YOU STILL LOVE ME!!! *pumps fist in the air*

  3. after ‘sausage kamatwad’ you’re well on the way of attaininq chrinsanity deity XD dabelew tee eff????

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