Miaow (spelling?)


Diary of a mad cat
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to torture me by dangling little objects infront of me. They dine lavishly on meat while my fellow inmates and i are fed hash or some sort of dried nuggets. Although i make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, nevertheless i must eat to keep my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. I once again vomit on their carpet to disgust them.
Today i decapitated a mouse and dropped it’s headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear in their hearts ,as it clearly demonstrates what i’m capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about “What a good hunter i am.” Bastards!
There was an assembly of their accomplices earlier today during which we were placed in a smaller confinement space. However i was able to smell the food and hear the conversation. I learned that our confinement was due to our power of ‘allergies’ . I must learn what this means and use it to my advantage.
Yesterday i was almost successful in attempt to assassinate one of my captors by weaving in and out of his legs as he walked. I must try again tomorrow…at the top of the stairs.
I’m convinced the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special treatment. He is regularly released-but insists on returning. He is obviously a retard. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him, in an elevated cell. He remains safe, for now…….

-remember ‘free willy’ the movie about the whale in captivity? Well ‘free pussy’. Let your cats loose! (the fact that the names of both movies hint au freeing genitalia is totally a coincidence.)-


4 responses »

  1. Miaow. Correct.

    I think you should read my cat’s diary. Reads more along the lines of “Yes. Today was yet another day of pampering. My staff waited on me paw and foot, and got a new basket. Velve. How tacky. I strutted away from it with my snub-nose in the air. It worked. There is talk of a Cashemer one being purchased.” My cat is spoilt as fuck.

  2. My laptop committed suicide so i type with my phone i tried putting the link but 😦 but i do constantly tweet your link

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s